


That Promise Made Him Sick

by HaywoodYouLikeSomeTea



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angry Bucky Barnes, Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sam Wilson is a Gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 12:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18851293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaywoodYouLikeSomeTea/pseuds/HaywoodYouLikeSomeTea
Summary: Steve stepped up to the platform, giving a nod to Sam. Bruce began counting. Bucky couldn't look, he just couldn't. He felt like he was falling out that damn train all over again. Losing his best friend right before his eyes.'Til the end of the line, or until Steves life has become too much for him to bare. Steve is over 100 years old and barely 30 years old physically. It's more than he'd signed up for when he'd made that promise._______________________________________Bucky knew what was going to happen, but that doesn't mean that he isn't angry about it._______________________________________ENDGAME SPOILERS





	That Promise Made Him Sick

It was a sad day, he hadn't known Tony Stark that long and when he did know him Tony was trying to kill him. But, after spending 5 years trapped in a different dimension with Sam Wilson he had learnt about everything Tony had done. 

When he really thinks about it, life has been strange. He knew Tony's dad when Howard was young, he'd killed Tony's dad when he was older, and then Tony tried to kill him. But he didn't kill Tony's dad, Sam had spoken about this, he needed to stop thinking of the horrific things the Winter Soldier did as being him, he had no control over it. Now, he was at Tony Starks funeral. 

A lot happened very quickly, he was dead then alive, then told to run through a portal that a man with some very strange facial fair made and then he was fighting an army. Bucky Barnes didn't do things in half anymore, it was all or nothing. 

He doesn't own a suit, to be fair he's only been himself for 5 years give or take, so he'd had to borrow a jacket that was left at the compound. He hadn't known the man had a daughter until about an hour ago, he might not have known much about Tony Stark personally but he knows that he had a life, and he was willing to give it up for the rest of the universe to get a life. 

Tony was a good man. 

After the minute silence to honour Tony Stark and Natasha, Bucky knew even less about her despite the fact that he'd apparently taught her how to fight. No, not him. The Winter Soldier. He clenched his fists, his left arm whirring at the sudden aggression, and took a breath. 

Sam turned to him, putting a hand on his left arm, before softly saying, "Breathe, in and out." He followed along with Sam's instructions and began to calm himself, sure he and Sam weren't the best of friends but damn did he help him sometimes. 

Slowly the crowd dissipated, each person needing a moment to reflect on everything that had happened. The lives lost, the lives returned, and the pain. He noticed Steve talking to Bruce-Hulk? Brulk? Seriously things have changed since the 40s. The two Avengers nodded to each other and began to head towards Sam and Bucky, he'd heard that Bruce was close to both Natasha and Tony. He'd say that he can't imagine how the doctor feels except that he's died quite a few times at this point and it never gets easier. 

Steve looked up at them when he got close, "The stones... We need to get them back before anything happens, before anything worse happens." His brows were tightly knitted, the stress and sadness clear in his eyes. 

Sam looks between them, "So which ones are you taking and which ones am I taking? No offence to Barnes but I feel like time-travel might be a bit much for him right now." Bucky nodded, he felt slightly embarrassed that he really needed to sit down and think things over first.

"I'm taking them all, I've done it before so I won't freak out about it. Not that I think you'll freak out Sam, but I'd rather not put you in danger again." Steve trailed off at the end, not waiting for a reply he headed towards the house. "I'm gonna change."

Sam sighs, "He always has to do things by himself." That made Bucky chuckle, Sam didn't know the half of it. Neither did he, but he knew Steve was always like this. He'll have to talk to Steve about Brooklyn when he gets back, find out a little extra about the 40s other than war. Seems like all he's known was war.

Bruce looked up, "C'mon we'll head to the time machine." 

_______________________________________________________________

"So you'll only be gone for a few seconds? Christ last time I saw something sciency was Starks flying car, actual time travel..." Bucky muttered to himself. 

Steve chuckled, "You remember that, huh?"

He thought about it for a second, "Kinda, I can't explain it really. It's there but it's not me."

Steve smiled, "Right, guess I'm off. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

This, this he knew. "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." Was this how Steve felt? He wraps Steve in a hug, frowning into his shoulder as he realises just what's about to happen. "I'm gonna miss you, buddy."

He knew Steve wasn't going to tell him he'd be back, not when there's a dame in the 40s waiting for him. 

"It's gonna be okay, Buck." A small smile as Steve notices that Bucky can read him like a book. Poor Sam has no idea. Or maybe he does, Bucky can't read him yet. 

Steve stepped up to the platform, giving a nod to Sam. Bruce began counting. Bucky couldn't look, he just couldn't. He felt like he was falling out that damn train all over again. Losing his best friend right before his eyes. 

'Til the end of the line, or until Steves life has become too much for him to bare. Steve is over 100 years old and barely 30 years old physically. It's more than he'd signed up for when he'd made that promise. 

Bruce began to freak out, Steve didn't come back. Bucky felt a tear slide down his cheek. Sam turned to look at him, "Where is he? Barnes, what just happened?"

Bucky wiped his eyes and looked around, Steve would be back but not as Captain America. "Don't worry Sam, he's there." Bucky pointed to a lone man sat on a bench, looking out at the view in front of him. "Go on, I need a minute. I think he's got something to give you."

There he stood as he watched Steve explain to Sam what had just happened. 

He heard heavy steps from behind, "You knew, and you didn't stop him." Bruce stated as he came to stand next to Bucky. 

He looked up at Bruce, "If I'd ever had the ability to stop Steven Rogers from doing something then we wouldn't have had Captain America. If he wants something, he does it. He's Peggy's issue now." A small smile formed on his face as he sadly turned back to Steve and Sam. Steve handed something to Sam, it's not hard to work out what, harder to work out how he got it. 

Sam accepted it, spoke a few extra words before heading back towards Bucky and Bruce. "He wants to see you, says he owes you something."

Bucky scoffed, "Bet he does." Before chuckling and walking towards the bench. 

"Steve, Sam says you've got something to tell me." Bucky tucked a strand of hair behind his ear before taking a seat next to Steve, refusing to look him in the eye. He still felt like he was falling out of the train. Cold air rushing around him, he felt sick. 

Steve moved to put his arm up to Bucky's right shoulder but he flinched away, "Buck, I'm sorry."

Bucky looked down into his lap, his palms sweating while tears begin to pour out of his eyes, "I know why you did it, but it doesn't make it any easier." His voice cracked towards the end. "'Til the end of the line, right? That's what we always said. There for each other when we need each other." He was going to throw up, he felt sick to his stomach. The cold air got colder like he had smashed against the ice and snow after a  
neverending fall. Bucky moved his hands to grip the bench as it slowly turned from wood to cold hard metal.

Steve went to open his mouth but Bucky stopped him by turning to face him, his face was aged. This was the face of a man that had lived a long life, seen many things. Christ, how old was he at this point 186? How does time travel work when it comes to age? He wants to say that he doesn't care but the fact that he didn't get to spend a single birthday with his best friend since 1945 just made him cry more. For god's sake, he didn't even know what year it was right now. He felt like he was strapped to that icy table, his brain being turned to paste as the world changes around him. 

Steve turned back to Sam and motioned for him to come over, Bucky felt a warm hand on his back as someone softly whispered "Shh, you're here with us. You're Bucky Barnes. It's ok to be angry." 

The rushing angry wind became a soft breeze as he was grounded back to reality. The metal slab returned to wood and he remembered where he was, who he was. His stomach began to settle and his breathing calmed. 

"Was she nice. Was she just the dame you remembered." He said it with a scoff, he had nothing against Carter apart from the fact that she took the only thing he had to keep him himself away from him. 

"Yeah, she is. I'm really sorry Buck." Steve looked sad, apparently living 80 or however many years with the love of his life and he still felt bad for his best friend.

"Why'd you come back. You know I love you an all, but you must realise that leaving me alone would have been better. You must have realised that you come back looking all happy and domestic would be a punch in the face. A reminder of the fact that I am not James Buchanan Barnes, a man who his best friend Steve Rogers and Brooklyn, apparently a man that was slick with the women and always had a snarky remark," He stared at Steve dead in the eyes, "That instead I am a mess of a human being that has been destroyed and reformed a million times, each time with more of the original missing. With all the medical treatment in the world, I will never get to be James Buchanan Barnes. But you got to be Steve Rogers." 

Steve smiled sadly, "You can't go back, what happened to you has changed you. If you went back you wouldn't be happy, here you can be. You have friends, I know Shuri used to show you her science stuff and I know you and Sam get along better than you let on. Go find your happiness." 

Sam moved his hand off of Buckys back and onto his shoulder, taking a seat on the bench to the left of him. "You don't need to be James Buchanan Barnes from the 1940s when you can be Bucky Barnes in the- I honestly don't even know when we are right now but you can be Bucky right now."

He doesn't know when Bruce walked away, probably at some point during his flashback, but it meant that the three could look out at the view and not be disturbed. If Steve couldn't be his grounding factor anymore then maybe Sam can help.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I was just disappointed at the way they ended Endgame for Bucky, he got nothing basically. 
> 
> So I'm sorry if you hated this but I was just really annoyed and needed to write something.


End file.
